The Window of Tolerance

This is for the mom who wants to be more regulated (aka not lose it on her kids).

We can thank psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel for coining the term, Window of Tolerance. The WOT describes the zone (big or small) in which we can manage stress, stay present, think clearly, and respond appropriately to challenges.

• We don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed if our WOT is small. With time, skills, and therapy, we can grow the window.

• Life is also incredibly demanding. It’s expected and normal, to leave the window at times. The practice of returning to your window, is just as important as maintaining it.

• For moms in certain seasons, this might feel especially difficult. You might notice snapping more at your family, being overstimulated by noise, feeling on edge and restless, or completely shut down. This is all valuable information to be mindful of.

Final note: it’s important that we practice noticing our WOT with as little self-judgment as possible. Shame and judgment push us farther outside of our window — not in.